TO: Students in CJ 160 Sec 001 FA 05
FROM: R. B. Taylor
DATE: 9/6/05
RE: Developing norms about how we speak and listen to one another

Last Friday we spent time in class talking about how we will speak to and listen to one another. I have tried to boil down the many good suggestions which you all provided. These should be considered draft guidelines at this point. Please let me know in person, or via email or phone if what I have here distorted what you or your group contributed, or if any of these guidelines are unclear in any way.

We can revise and clarify as needed.

Names of contributing students appear at the bottom.

How We Speak

1.        SPEAK CIVILLY, REPECTFULLY This is a biggie; it includes how we say things, as well as what we say. Here is what you said: “Be polite” / “Don’t force your opinions on others” / “No arguing” / “Be respectful” / “Watch your tone of voice” / “Don’t talk down to one another” / “Don’t try to hurt someone’s feelings just because you don’t agree with them” / “Speak with courtesy and respect to one another”

2.        “AVOID ARGUMENT” This idea is different in that it is specifically about being argumentative, trying to force people to see things your way in terms of both what you say and how you say it. Here is what you said:  “Avoid argument” / “Try not to be offensive” / “Do not be confrontational” / “Don’t shout” / “Don’t yell” It is, however, ok to disagree: “If you disagree with someone else’s point of view don’t just tell them that they are wrong; explain why you disagree”

3.        AVOID PERSONAL/GROUP ATTACKS The key idea here is to avoid putting down individuals or groups.  Here is what you said: “Constructive criticism [only]” / “Don’t tell someone their opinion is stupid” / “Try not to belittle others” / “No name calling … no racial slurs

NOTE: 2.  and 3. could also be seen as sub-headings under 1., but I opted to separate them out, for the sake of clarity

4.        “STAY FOCUSED” We have a limited amount of time here, and when you are speaking there are upwards of 198 ears listening. Here is what you said: “Speak to the point” / “Only ask relevant questions” / “Don’t get sidetracked” / “Bring up things with relevance to the topic” / “Make it short and to the point” / “Have a point” / “Don’t ‘piggy-back’ or repeat what someone else says just so you can be heard” / “Don’t distract others by making irrelevant comments” / “Make sure that you know what you are going to say before you speak”

5.        SPEAK UP AND BE DIRECT Remember you are talking to others in a large class, not talking on the phone.  Here is what you said:  “Speak loudly and clearly” / “Look person in the eye when talking to them” / “Speak at a volume that will enable the rest of the class to hear you” / “Don’t mumble” / “Don’t talk with food in mouth” / “[Speak] slowly enough for people to understand”

6.        KEEP IT CLEAN Please.  Here is what you said: “Do not use vulgar language” / “Don’t curse” / No “profanity”

How We Listen

7.        AVOID INTERRUPTIONS. Here is what you said: “Let one person speak at a time” /  “Raise your hand 2 speak” / “You should never cut people off” / “Make sure that a person is finished” / “Be patient”

8.        ATTENTIVELY/RESPECTFULLY. Listen like you would like someone to listen to you.  Here is what you said: “Be attentive” / “Be quiet when someone else is speaking” / “Do not make noise” / “eye contact” / “No side conversations” / “… don’t stare at them blankly” / “Listen to fully understand what someone is saying” / “Show respect as if it was you who were actually talking” / “[No] leaving the classroom [when someone speaking] / “Do not ‘suck your teeth’ or give someone a ‘dirty look’ because you disagree….” / “Don’t laugh [at what someone is saying]” / “Actually listen to someone don’t just ‘hear’ them”

9.        OPENLY. This is related to the above but focuses more specifically on not shutting down your brain. Here is what you said: “Keep an open mind” / “Don’t be judgmental” / “Be receptive” / “Never be so opinionated and geared toward your ideas only” / “Don’t stop listening just because you disagree”